My brain is constantly overwhelmed. Just now while sitting here concocting a list of things that aren't even important enough to share, I remembered I left off the new toilets in our annual newsletter. Why do these matter? I have no idea. But along with things we did to our home, we replaced both toilets with high efficiency ones. That are also taller. And elongated. And cleaner.
We also put in my most favorite update- my beautifully organized office closet. How that didn't make it in the newsletter? I'll never know.
Then again, in last year's four page craziness of a newsletter, I left out visiting with old family friends on their boat in Florida on St. Patrick's Day. That was a huge slight if I've ever known of one. Of course, 2013 was a crazy year, so it's reasonable I had left something out.
I also failed to mentioned in our 2014 newsletter that our tenant in Kansas was moving out, but well, that's about four posts' worth of babble right there. And I didn't forget to mention that. I chose not to.
The point of this though is that these things suddenly and randomly pop into my head, and as our new tenant is learning, I HAVE TO TELL YOU RIGHT THEN or I'll get so distracted I will never get around to it.
You can't expect me to remember everything, right? Well, maybe you can, people often do. And that's....overwhelming and doesn't help in the problems I already have. My brain is constantly overwhelmed. And then I end up blogging some random post with things that no one really ever cares about. But that's okay. I didn't do it for you or for them. I did it for me. Because it makes me less overwhelmed.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Put Up your F__________ cart!
Read the subject of this post out loud. Do you pause at the "F______"? Do you say "phlblank"? It'd be awesome if you did, because that's what I would do. Or...you can use any of these choice words (which aren't necessarily words):
Flippin'
Freakin'
Friggin'
Flabbergastin'
Filliwackin'
Fabulous
Fantastic
Fluid
Favorable
Finnish
Flying
Feel free to make up your own. I encourage you.
Now that I've gotten that out my system, or at least partially, as "F" words are still bouncing around in my brain like millions of well, bouncing balls, I will attempt to get to the actual point. If there even is a point....
And I assure to you there is.
Fewer things tick me off more than when I pull into a parking spot and there's a cart blocking the way. Which happened last week. Or when I'm backing out, and there's a cart in my blind spot, actually in the corner slightly behind my car....which just happened Monday. Okay, so to the __ (and I'm going to leave this blank because my mother-in-law reads this and she needs to think of my vocabulary as pure and decent, or rather I need to think she thinks that )____ who do things like that.....I don't like you. And I think you should put your cart away. Properly.
They don't keep those cart corrals out there merely for you to ding your car doors on them. Or throw trash in them. Or leave your empty cardboard boxes. Which just this week, I've witnessed all of the above. Just like every other week.
Why do people have to be so lazy and inconsiderate? Because really, seriously, pushing your cart back into its home, isn't that difficult. I promise. And if it is, then how about not getting a cart? Or carrying your bags out and leaving the cart inside? Or how about not being a jerk? Do you really need to push a cart around just for your purse? Don't answer that. Please.
As for people who will retort something about them not wanting to take away the jobs of cart pushers... Oh please. Like that's why you do it. You couldn't care less about those people. You're like the rest of us who get annoyed as we're waiting to pull out of our parking spots, but can't because the cart pusher and his trolley of fun are behind your vehicle taking their nice sweet time. So you get impatient. Sometimes you honk. I haven't, but then again, I also put my carts up. In fact, I rarely take carts, and when I do, I either leave them inside or push them right back inside. It's great exercise. But to the person who leaves their cart out in the parking lot, I'm guessing if you don't care what damage it does to somebody else's car, or takes much needed parking spots, you really don't care about the poor sap who is taking those carts back into the store for less than $8.00 an hour.
And really, I don't like you. You abandoned your cart and then it's in my way. What other things have you abandoned so carelessly and callously in your life? Do I even want to know?
I would wish you a life of disease and heartache, but that wouldn't be nice. And being careless and uncouth seems like a terrible enough punishment for the rest of your life. So....I'll leave that one to Karma. Because when it's windy and those free carts go flying...they just might hit your car this time. And while you'll blame the store, guess what? They're not actually responsible. So have fun with that. And next time, maybe next time, you'll muster up the energy to put your f____ cart up.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Just Let Them Read
A couple months back, I overheard a conversation a school aide was having with a student at the book fair. He picked out a Minecraft book and she was explaining to him that it wasn't in his reading level and he should pick out a different book. He clutched that book even tighter. Then the librarian intervened. Oh, thank goodness. Except, she also told him he needed to find a different book. Sure, he had enough money. Sure, that was the book on his list that his parents signed. However, they were both so fixated on this reading level babble that they couldn't see what this was truly about.
This was about a book. And a boy.
Sure, it's a Minecraft book. Perhaps he can't actually read it. But do you know what? That shouldn't matter. Not even in the slightest. Because as long as he has the passion to read that book, he's going to most likely read it someday. Maybe even this year. So no matter how many police books, Ninja Turtles, superheroes, and car books you shove at him, he wants that one. And they should have let him buy it. After all, his parents sent him in there to buy that particular book, a purchase that was benefiting the school library. He didn't want any other books. And telling him he could just ask his parents to buy it at Barnes and Noble is revolting! Again, you should be encouraging him to branch out from his reading level. You should allow him to support the book fair. You should be praising his passion.
It was about a book. It was about a boy. And kids who are passionate about books read them.
And they should have let him buy it so he could read it.
I don't care if it's a strategy handbook for a game. It doesn't matter. Reading is reading. It's a gateway to an experience not enough people allow themselves. Whether it's a comic book, a drawing book, or a simple picture book. Let children read. Encourage them. Maybe they won't end up on a high school reading level like The Redhead, but you know what? They will certainly enjoy themselves. They will love those books. They'll read other books similar to the one they loved. Maybe they won't love all of the books. But kids who aren't encouraged end up not reading.
We have a whole different issue with The Redhead. Not all books in her range are appropriate for her age. Not all of the books she reads would be deemed appropriate by most parents. I know plenty of people who liken the Harry Potter series to witchcraft and blasphemy. She read the entire series and finished it early into her ninth year. She also recently completed The Hunger Games series, a series that is actually below her reading level range, and a set of books I definitely wouldn't recommend for all children her age. She is now on the second book in The Maze Runner series. In this case, it's a good idea to read these books first. Find out if your child is ready for the violence, the subject matter, the drama. Only a parent would know if it's appropriate for their child, which is exactly why I never tell people, "sure, your kid is ready for that book." I wouldn't dare. But if your kid is interested in one of those series....you should definitely find out if they're ready to actually read them. You don't want to lose that narrow window of opportunity, of their interest. Because once it's gone...it's gone.
So again I type: Let them read. It'll be okay, I promise. I promise that even though that child can't quite read the words on those pages, the world won't end. Maybe he'll just have to have his parents read those pages to him for now. And hey! That's wonderful too! We've been reading to The Redhead since in utero. She has always had an appreciation for books, at least since infancy. I have no idea what she thought while hanging out in the womb. But reading to your child leads to them eventually doing it on their own. Whether they read at age three, age four, age five...or at any other age. Whether they struggle for years. They will get there. But they need encouragement. Please don't misunderstand that for serious pushing, because I think of that as a whole other issue. One that can be just as severe as discouragement. Just encourage them.
Just give them books. Let them pick out their own books. And just let them read. Even if they don't want to read The Little House on the Prairie series. Which I wouldn't know anything about....
This was about a book. And a boy.
Sure, it's a Minecraft book. Perhaps he can't actually read it. But do you know what? That shouldn't matter. Not even in the slightest. Because as long as he has the passion to read that book, he's going to most likely read it someday. Maybe even this year. So no matter how many police books, Ninja Turtles, superheroes, and car books you shove at him, he wants that one. And they should have let him buy it. After all, his parents sent him in there to buy that particular book, a purchase that was benefiting the school library. He didn't want any other books. And telling him he could just ask his parents to buy it at Barnes and Noble is revolting! Again, you should be encouraging him to branch out from his reading level. You should allow him to support the book fair. You should be praising his passion.
It was about a book. It was about a boy. And kids who are passionate about books read them.
And they should have let him buy it so he could read it.
I don't care if it's a strategy handbook for a game. It doesn't matter. Reading is reading. It's a gateway to an experience not enough people allow themselves. Whether it's a comic book, a drawing book, or a simple picture book. Let children read. Encourage them. Maybe they won't end up on a high school reading level like The Redhead, but you know what? They will certainly enjoy themselves. They will love those books. They'll read other books similar to the one they loved. Maybe they won't love all of the books. But kids who aren't encouraged end up not reading.
We have a whole different issue with The Redhead. Not all books in her range are appropriate for her age. Not all of the books she reads would be deemed appropriate by most parents. I know plenty of people who liken the Harry Potter series to witchcraft and blasphemy. She read the entire series and finished it early into her ninth year. She also recently completed The Hunger Games series, a series that is actually below her reading level range, and a set of books I definitely wouldn't recommend for all children her age. She is now on the second book in The Maze Runner series. In this case, it's a good idea to read these books first. Find out if your child is ready for the violence, the subject matter, the drama. Only a parent would know if it's appropriate for their child, which is exactly why I never tell people, "sure, your kid is ready for that book." I wouldn't dare. But if your kid is interested in one of those series....you should definitely find out if they're ready to actually read them. You don't want to lose that narrow window of opportunity, of their interest. Because once it's gone...it's gone.
So again I type: Let them read. It'll be okay, I promise. I promise that even though that child can't quite read the words on those pages, the world won't end. Maybe he'll just have to have his parents read those pages to him for now. And hey! That's wonderful too! We've been reading to The Redhead since in utero. She has always had an appreciation for books, at least since infancy. I have no idea what she thought while hanging out in the womb. But reading to your child leads to them eventually doing it on their own. Whether they read at age three, age four, age five...or at any other age. Whether they struggle for years. They will get there. But they need encouragement. Please don't misunderstand that for serious pushing, because I think of that as a whole other issue. One that can be just as severe as discouragement. Just encourage them.
Just give them books. Let them pick out their own books. And just let them read. Even if they don't want to read The Little House on the Prairie series. Which I wouldn't know anything about....
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Because Every Blog Needs a Top Ten
Whether you actually read my blog or not or just peruse the photos, I have decided to make a list of my favorite posts from 2014. In no particular order. Maybe you've read them. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you just sneak a peek at the blog from time to time to say you've seen it. Or see if I'm typing about you. I doubt I am. And I doubt you care. Maybe you came here to find out how to raise llamas on your farm. Or clean your sink drain. Regardless of your motives, here is my list of my favorite posts:
You will notice a trend with that list. They aren't full of pictures or "this is what we did today. And here are the photos." By the way, I hate those kinds of posts. I find them boring and forced. Those posts listed are not just party photos. Or recipes. Or crafts. They're glimpses of my eccentric personality. And it's not that my eccentric personality doesn't like parties, photos, baking, crafting, or anything in between. I like all that, actually. But I also like expressing myself and typically, I only give details of my day because it is expected. Or share photos because people want to see them instead of on Facebook. 2015 may start to have more of what I want this blog to be. I haven't decided if I'm quite growing that backbone yet. But I might be. Not because I mind that certain people want to find out about things, I don't mind sharing. Really. But writing can be quite cathartic for me. I like being funny. I like rambling. I like diatribes. I like my tangents. And I think those are quite more interesting than photos from the beach.
Although, the beach is nice too.
I found a few posts I loved from 2013 too.
So read them, or don't. It's okay either way. The world won't explode. Or implode. Or maybe it will. I'm not a psychic. All I know is that I'd prefer more of the funny and less of the boring. And I'm thinking it might be time to make that happen. Facebook is better suited for the photos. Although, I do like funny Facebook statuses too. I don't know, I'm still thinking. So while I do that, you can get to reading. Or not.
You will notice a trend with that list. They aren't full of pictures or "this is what we did today. And here are the photos." By the way, I hate those kinds of posts. I find them boring and forced. Those posts listed are not just party photos. Or recipes. Or crafts. They're glimpses of my eccentric personality. And it's not that my eccentric personality doesn't like parties, photos, baking, crafting, or anything in between. I like all that, actually. But I also like expressing myself and typically, I only give details of my day because it is expected. Or share photos because people want to see them instead of on Facebook. 2015 may start to have more of what I want this blog to be. I haven't decided if I'm quite growing that backbone yet. But I might be. Not because I mind that certain people want to find out about things, I don't mind sharing. Really. But writing can be quite cathartic for me. I like being funny. I like rambling. I like diatribes. I like my tangents. And I think those are quite more interesting than photos from the beach.
Although, the beach is nice too.
I found a few posts I loved from 2013 too.
So read them, or don't. It's okay either way. The world won't explode. Or implode. Or maybe it will. I'm not a psychic. All I know is that I'd prefer more of the funny and less of the boring. And I'm thinking it might be time to make that happen. Facebook is better suited for the photos. Although, I do like funny Facebook statuses too. I don't know, I'm still thinking. So while I do that, you can get to reading. Or not.
2014's Christmas Newsletter
While I'm figuring out what to type up for the blog, here's our 2014 Christmas Newsletter that was sent out with our Christmas cards in early December. In case you hadn't read it, you can find last year's here.
Dearest
Reader--
After last year’s four page monstrosity of
a letter, I’m not sure if anyone’s willing to ever read a newsletter of mine
again. But just in case you are still
willing, and able, I will continue with our 2014 version. I promise you, I will do my best to keep it shorter.
We had fewer changes than last year, which
is worth reporting, as that alone brings me the most comfort this year. We did manage to continue with our house
projects. I painted the guest room,
hallway, and the exterior of the house (no more fecal brown paint or stripes!)
all by May. Before February, the guest
room was just a mess of craft supplies stacked on a bed we didn’t use. But now, it’s a travel-themed room and we
have managed to keep it fairly organized and it’s ready for company. Just don’t tell our cat Alexandra it’s a
guest room; she thinks it’s hers.
We have spent most of this year
continuing to get acquainted with our new state. We finally made it to San Francisco Chinatown , Pier 39,
Fisherman’s Wharf, an aquarium, and I’ve posted many photos on my blog at www.evolutionfromkansas.blogspot.com. We continue to enjoy our trips to the shore
and saw elephant seals in February. We
also made it to Santa Cruz L.A.
and hung out in Venice Beach , Santa
Monica Lake
Tahoe and marveled at the giant pine cones. In September, we made it to Napa California
In May, Rob’s parents joined our
adventures. We toured San Francisco Bass
Lake near Yosemite . We had so much fun together seeing the giant
trees, the waterfalls, a bear running across the road, and everything else we
could squeeze in while in Yosemite . We’re already anxious for them to come back to
visit.
Bailey has been our busy little B. In June, she started a drama summer
camp. It was for three weeks, 9-2, and
then they put on Seussical the Musical for a month’s worth of weekend
shows. Every Saturday and Sunday at 1,
you could find us watching our little redhead on stage. For her tenth birthday, we spent the day at
Six Flags. Her tenth birthday party was
science-themed. We had our fifth annual
Halloween party in October. She just
finished up her first soccer season in California
Other happenings have included doing all
sorts of fun activities with The Redhead during her summer break, replacing the
clutch in Rob’s car, buying a new fridge (for the Kansas house), my recent
visit to Kansas to check on the rental house (a special thanks to my best
friend A and her family for allowing me to stay in her home), continuing to
blog, and all the other fun that comes with living on the west coast. Fortunately, Rob still loves his job (like he
has a choice, heh), and I’ve adjusted to my surroundings. I hope everyone else has had just as blessed
of a year.
With tidings of joy,
The Hudson
Rob,
Terra, & Bailey
&
Fudge, Stitch, & Alexandra
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
American Sniper and a Fake Baby
American Sniper. I've seen the posters for a while now and I wasn't sure what sort of movie it'd be. Would it be worth watching? Well, throw in an Oscar nomination and there I was, ready to watch it, breaking my own rule of not watching intense, war movies in theater. I can't usually handle them, but seeing Bradley Cooper on the screen before he loses his third attempt at an Oscar statue? In a row? Okay, I was in.
What I didn't expect was a theater full of people. Twelve minutes before the movie started, I was stuck in the third row from the screen. And that's in California. Sure, in Kansas I would have been stuck on the floor, but in California, few people show up to movies early. At least to any of my theaters. This was in the largest theater and it was a packed mad house. It reminded me of the time I finally went to watch the Blind Side and I had to sit in the very front row in the largest theater...four weeks after the movie had initially come out. And I go see movies alone, so if one person has trouble finding a seat...you know it's packed.
American Sniper has made $105 million in one weekend, or $107 million, depending on the articles you read. Either way, that's a lot of money for a January release. The only movies that come out in January are typically Oscar flicks and bad movies. But neither ones make much money. Why is it making so much money? Well, it is a patriotic film. It's a war movie. Clint Eastwood directed it. I would say it's because it's Oscar nominated, but that rarely has much to do with getting the crowds in. I don't care what anyone says. I see a lot of movies, I'm fairly privy to these things.
It may have helped that Michael Moore called snipers cowards and that caused an uproar, as his comments often do. Either no one listens to him...or they get mad over a few words. I don't see how a sniper in war is a coward, honestly. But that was Michael Moore's Freedom of Speech in place, and remember, it's still Freedom of Speech, even if you disagree with what they're saying. So to all those people in my Facebook feed damning Michael Moore and Seth Rogen to untimely deaths....it's Freedom of Speech when the people you support say asinine things....it's still Freedom of Speech now. Really. Seriously. I'm serious here. It'll be okay, I promise.
So maybe those remarks that stirred such an outrage also sparked the huge demand at the box office. It's possible.
Maybe it's the idea of everyone being able to cheer in unison when an Iraqi sniper is finally shot. YAY! Cheer! I didn't cheer though. I'm the crazy liberal who believes there are typically no winners in war and that that guy believed just as much in what he was doing as the American soldiers. But the crowd cheers anyway! YAY! Isn't blood great?!
Don't get me wrong, it was a good film. I'm sure that's why so many people are pouring in to see it.
Or maybe, just maybe it's because of something else.
Something else not expected in an Oscar-nominated film.
Something that will steal my focus in a film that requires much of my attention?
What....?
What in front of my wandering eyes did appear...?
What...?!
IS THAT A FAKE BABY SIENNA MILLER IS PRETENDING TO BREASTFEED?
AND NOW IS BRADLEY COOPER HOLDING THAT FAKE BABY?!
OH PLEASE STOP WITH THE FAKE BABY, I'M TRYING HARD NOT TO LAUGH.
So....it's a very serious moment in the film, and here is the dreaded emotional lull. I don't do well in emotional moments in film anyway. The chick dying of cancer? I start giggling. Seriously. Uncomfortable, emotional silence and I start giggling. Add in an obviously fake baby? A disgustingly fake plastic baby? Oh man. I was trying to hold back my giggles so much so I started choking. And it's a packed theater. I could hardly contain myself. This emotional moment between the two stars and my eyes won't leave the fake baby. Is this really happening? Did Clint Eastwood really direct an Oscar-nominated film with Bradley Cooper with a very fake baby in this emotional scene?
I'm afraid he did.
And Bradley Cooper and Sienna Miller deserve golden statues for being able to pull off such a scene without laughing themselves to oblivion. Because I was dying inside from the need to laugh.
Now I don't know the reasons behind this obviously fake baby. Does Bradley Cooper have a paralyzing fear of infants? Does Sienna Miller refuse to breastfeed real babies? Do they have contracts stating they aren't to be near tiny little beings? I.don't.know.
But the problem with such a travesty and inconsistency in a film like this one is that anything, and I mean anything, distracting in a film.....I'm gone. My brain has left the proverbial building. I see movies in theater for a reason. I can't sit still. I force myself to behave in movie theaters and sit there quietly. You have no idea how difficult this is for me. Shutting down my body is hard enough. Then I have to shut off my mind. And that's impossible. Keeping my attention for a prolonged amount of time is a difficult feat. Watching movies at home usually takes about four hours because I use the pause button A LOT. And that's for a movie less than two hours. So in the theater, I have to stay focused, otherwise I'll miss something, and even more than being easily distracted....I hate missing ANYTHING.
But now there was a fake baby on the screen. In an emotional scene I didn't want to watch anyway. So, I started doing what any rational person with a slight case of ADHD would do. I started thinking about a blog post about fake babies. I started thinking about jokes involving the fake baby from American Sniper. I started thinking, "only cowards hold fake babies." "Is that a real baby you're holding or this a scene out of American Sniper?" "Came for the patriotism, stayed for the baby."
Yes, I'm that mature.
But my mind did wander. All over the place. I should have left at that point, honestly. Not because the fake baby ruined everything...but it certainly distracted me. I was focused up to that moment. I was doing well...for me. Which is saying a lot during an intense war movie. I usually have to watch these at home so I can pause in part just to keep myself from hiding under blankets. It's not that I don't like war movies, but the intensity gets to me. And frankly, I enjoy movies these days that are enjoyable. Then again, this movie did have some enjoyable qualities.
Because who can't enjoy a movie being plagued by fake babies?
I come home and discover a plethora of articles dedicated to one very, obviously fake movie screen baby. It turns out I wasn't the only movie patron distracted by that fake baby. Many people were. And I hope when they show scenes from the movie when Bradley Cooper's name is called for the nomination, that they show THAT scene.
The articles on the fake baby are worth looking at though. They are hilarious.
And while some people don't think it should void out such a masterpiece.....I disagree. How can a movie be a true masterpiece when a prop is so distracting? So to all the people out there thinking Clint Eastwood was snubbed an Oscar nomination for best director. Was he? Was he really?
Or was it just a courtesy?
I suppose the rest of the public can decide. Either way, the best comical film moment so far goes to that scene. Especially since it wasn't intended. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not telling you not to watch it. But remember, fake babies cannot be unseen.
What I didn't expect was a theater full of people. Twelve minutes before the movie started, I was stuck in the third row from the screen. And that's in California. Sure, in Kansas I would have been stuck on the floor, but in California, few people show up to movies early. At least to any of my theaters. This was in the largest theater and it was a packed mad house. It reminded me of the time I finally went to watch the Blind Side and I had to sit in the very front row in the largest theater...four weeks after the movie had initially come out. And I go see movies alone, so if one person has trouble finding a seat...you know it's packed.
American Sniper has made $105 million in one weekend, or $107 million, depending on the articles you read. Either way, that's a lot of money for a January release. The only movies that come out in January are typically Oscar flicks and bad movies. But neither ones make much money. Why is it making so much money? Well, it is a patriotic film. It's a war movie. Clint Eastwood directed it. I would say it's because it's Oscar nominated, but that rarely has much to do with getting the crowds in. I don't care what anyone says. I see a lot of movies, I'm fairly privy to these things.
It may have helped that Michael Moore called snipers cowards and that caused an uproar, as his comments often do. Either no one listens to him...or they get mad over a few words. I don't see how a sniper in war is a coward, honestly. But that was Michael Moore's Freedom of Speech in place, and remember, it's still Freedom of Speech, even if you disagree with what they're saying. So to all those people in my Facebook feed damning Michael Moore and Seth Rogen to untimely deaths....it's Freedom of Speech when the people you support say asinine things....it's still Freedom of Speech now. Really. Seriously. I'm serious here. It'll be okay, I promise.
So maybe those remarks that stirred such an outrage also sparked the huge demand at the box office. It's possible.
Maybe it's the idea of everyone being able to cheer in unison when an Iraqi sniper is finally shot. YAY! Cheer! I didn't cheer though. I'm the crazy liberal who believes there are typically no winners in war and that that guy believed just as much in what he was doing as the American soldiers. But the crowd cheers anyway! YAY! Isn't blood great?!
Don't get me wrong, it was a good film. I'm sure that's why so many people are pouring in to see it.
Or maybe, just maybe it's because of something else.
Something else not expected in an Oscar-nominated film.
Something that will steal my focus in a film that requires much of my attention?
What....?
What in front of my wandering eyes did appear...?
What...?!
IS THAT A FAKE BABY SIENNA MILLER IS PRETENDING TO BREASTFEED?
AND NOW IS BRADLEY COOPER HOLDING THAT FAKE BABY?!
OH PLEASE STOP WITH THE FAKE BABY, I'M TRYING HARD NOT TO LAUGH.
So....it's a very serious moment in the film, and here is the dreaded emotional lull. I don't do well in emotional moments in film anyway. The chick dying of cancer? I start giggling. Seriously. Uncomfortable, emotional silence and I start giggling. Add in an obviously fake baby? A disgustingly fake plastic baby? Oh man. I was trying to hold back my giggles so much so I started choking. And it's a packed theater. I could hardly contain myself. This emotional moment between the two stars and my eyes won't leave the fake baby. Is this really happening? Did Clint Eastwood really direct an Oscar-nominated film with Bradley Cooper with a very fake baby in this emotional scene?
I'm afraid he did.
And Bradley Cooper and Sienna Miller deserve golden statues for being able to pull off such a scene without laughing themselves to oblivion. Because I was dying inside from the need to laugh.
Now I don't know the reasons behind this obviously fake baby. Does Bradley Cooper have a paralyzing fear of infants? Does Sienna Miller refuse to breastfeed real babies? Do they have contracts stating they aren't to be near tiny little beings? I.don't.know.
But the problem with such a travesty and inconsistency in a film like this one is that anything, and I mean anything, distracting in a film.....I'm gone. My brain has left the proverbial building. I see movies in theater for a reason. I can't sit still. I force myself to behave in movie theaters and sit there quietly. You have no idea how difficult this is for me. Shutting down my body is hard enough. Then I have to shut off my mind. And that's impossible. Keeping my attention for a prolonged amount of time is a difficult feat. Watching movies at home usually takes about four hours because I use the pause button A LOT. And that's for a movie less than two hours. So in the theater, I have to stay focused, otherwise I'll miss something, and even more than being easily distracted....I hate missing ANYTHING.
But now there was a fake baby on the screen. In an emotional scene I didn't want to watch anyway. So, I started doing what any rational person with a slight case of ADHD would do. I started thinking about a blog post about fake babies. I started thinking about jokes involving the fake baby from American Sniper. I started thinking, "only cowards hold fake babies." "Is that a real baby you're holding or this a scene out of American Sniper?" "Came for the patriotism, stayed for the baby."
Yes, I'm that mature.
But my mind did wander. All over the place. I should have left at that point, honestly. Not because the fake baby ruined everything...but it certainly distracted me. I was focused up to that moment. I was doing well...for me. Which is saying a lot during an intense war movie. I usually have to watch these at home so I can pause in part just to keep myself from hiding under blankets. It's not that I don't like war movies, but the intensity gets to me. And frankly, I enjoy movies these days that are enjoyable. Then again, this movie did have some enjoyable qualities.
Because who can't enjoy a movie being plagued by fake babies?
I come home and discover a plethora of articles dedicated to one very, obviously fake movie screen baby. It turns out I wasn't the only movie patron distracted by that fake baby. Many people were. And I hope when they show scenes from the movie when Bradley Cooper's name is called for the nomination, that they show THAT scene.
The articles on the fake baby are worth looking at though. They are hilarious.
And while some people don't think it should void out such a masterpiece.....I disagree. How can a movie be a true masterpiece when a prop is so distracting? So to all the people out there thinking Clint Eastwood was snubbed an Oscar nomination for best director. Was he? Was he really?
Or was it just a courtesy?
I suppose the rest of the public can decide. Either way, the best comical film moment so far goes to that scene. Especially since it wasn't intended. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not telling you not to watch it. But remember, fake babies cannot be unseen.
A New New Year
I've been vacant from my blog. I suppose I have started 2015 blog-free. Not intentionally, these things just work out that way. I won't offer any excuses because it's my blog. I can post when I want.
I've learned I can't do just everything I want though. World domination appears to be out.
Also.....so was this card.
I've learned I can't do just everything I want though. World domination appears to be out.
Also.....so was this card.
I told The Redhead I would be using a baby photo I took a decade ago. She kept saying, "BURN IT," and I used it anyway. That wasn't what she found so appalling though. She actually liked the baby photo after all. But she hated the card. Apparently, it's okay to make psychotic faces when your mother is forcing you to pose for New Year's photos. However, it is not okay to then use those psychotic faces for the actual cards. She said, "You could have told ME."
Told her what?
That she looked insane? Oh please. She enjoys sabotaging photo sessions. That's most of her fun. But I suppose it's all fun and games until your crazy faces are staring back at you...knowing full well they're going to print and mailed to your family and teachers.
So, I made a second version all the while she kept saying, "I'm sorry I'm making you make a new one, but yeah, thank you." It was difficult since most of the photos from New Year's were crazy-mouthed. I finally unearthed something. This version had The Redhead's approval.
So here's hoping the rest of 2015 goes well, even if it takes at least two versions.
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