Strangely, she was very excited about this. And I still have no idea as to why.
So...on January 23rd, 22 days ago, I retrieved The Redhead from school and asked how her day was. One of her friends was walking with us, and The Redhead says to me, "Let's just say there's an us and them."
And apparently this year's "Family Life" was much more in depth. There was a shock factor there for both girls. As well as myself.
"We didn't see it coming." The Redhead just kept shaking her head.
Then she told me, "this is exactly how it went down in class." But then she didn't follow much with that. Then I asked her if we'd discuss it further at home and she said, "yes, yes we will."
I'm such a lucky mother in the fact that my kid tells me all the dirty little details. And maybe in a few years she won't, and I guess I have to accept that, but for the moment, I'm going to cherish everything she will tell me. I'm also grateful for the fact that not only does she share these moments with me, but she allows me to take notes, verbatim, of the entire conversation. She has accepted her mother's insanity. And I'm still curious as to why.
This takes place in our living room, The Redhead pacing around the room.
The Redhead
Do you want to know all of it?
The Mother
I want to know what you want to tell me.
The Redhead
Puberty. They had this video and the characters were all so excited about it. Good job! You had your period! That's amazing! Your breasts are developing! We talked about tampons and pads and apparently tampons can be really bad. Because there's, I guess there's some sort of disease you can get from keeping it in too long. One new thing. We found out how exactly tampons work. Apparently you, oh this is nasty, apparently you stick it halfway up your...you know..AND then you push on the string part and the plastic part comes out and then you leave it in for awhile, an hour or two. Which in my opinion is absolutely nasty. And also we learned how to make babies.
The Redhead's cheeks reddened. The mother was thinking in her head how she really hoped they explained the stork delivery service or molding babies out of Play-doh. The Redhead continued to pace.
The Redhead
Apparently women have egg sacs and oh, this is nasty. Men have something called sperm.
The Redhead giggles.
The Redhead
Which, how should I put this, gives life to an egg. That's the best way I could put it.
The Redhead continues to giggle while pacing.
The Redhead
And if a guy doesn't have a sperm which gives life to the baby...dun dun dun....period. Then that's how periods are made. How they happen anyway. And we also learned the age group you start puberty.
The Mother
You learned that last year.
The Redhead
I can't remember from that long ago. This year, nine to twelve, no, thirteen. We also learned that men have something called...(clenches face)...a penis. (Snickers) Which is apparently....how they pee. We learned some other stuff about girls and boys. But that's pretty much all we learned about. It was still fine.
Thank you school system for relieving this mother of such an awkward future conversation with my child. Although, let's be honest. Most children learn this from their friends, or in my case, cousins. I'm grateful The Redhead will not learn such things in that manner. Instead, she spent a small moment pacing the floor in our living room, reddened cheeks ablaze, regurgitating all information, willingly. The fact she does this so openly and honestly without pause amazes me. Maybe not all parents would feel the same, but chances are, their kids are learning these things from their friends and cousins. So I guess it's all about perspective...
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