And then I found an empty bowl in my living room. That bowl once housed the oranges slices with their baker's twine attached, just waiting for The Redhead to hang them. Mister Man thought it would be best if she hung them up. And well, somehow that bowl was mysteriously set on the floor. I found it empty. I searched everywhere for the oranges, since they weren't on our tree. And suddenly I had this terrible idea. This awful thought. Next thing you know, I'm walking in the marsh that is currently our backyard and eventually found traces of my oranges.
As suspected, they were in feces and vomit. The fact I had to walk through my backyard inspecting feces and dog barf had me far livid than even I can comprehend. Plus, I was worried about the twine in the furry beast's intestines, as I found no evidence of it in the backyard. The Redhead and Mister Man knew it best to stop giving me excuses. I at first claimed I would never make these ever again. And I seriously meant it.
But Wednesday night, I bought another three pounds of oranges anyway. It takes me a long while just to slice them. Forty-five minutes to soak them on paper towels. Another four hours for baking and checking the oven, picking up the ones that fell to the bottom of the oven and rescuing them. And then all the time spent tying string. For what? For some citrus in the house?
It's not even worth it.
What is worth it though is that I let things like this, obsessions like this make or break a holiday. The holidays are tough times for me emotionally. Deep down, I actually despise Christmastime. I force myself to enjoy it. I distract myself with tasks. I take on extra projects. Those distractions keep me from remembering the parts I don't like. Therefore, something as mundane as orange slices actually can make quite the dent in my overall being. And Mister Man knew that. He knew what that meant. And luckily I did too. So my oranges are back. And luckily the big dog isn't murdered.
But this time, when I ask that they get hung, it better freakin' happen. (And in case you're curious, they did.)
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