I admit it. It's not easy, and it does come with a wee bit of regret and hesitation, but I did indeed go out this afternoon and purchased Taylor Swift's new album, the deluxe version, from Target. I will tell you the displays were all out and yes, I did take a deep breath and tell myself not to panic as I witnessed all of the empty displays and slots. I was trying to remain calm as visions of searching other stores haunted me. Luckily, a 1989 Taylor was waiting for me in the actual CDs, mixed in, hiding from other customers. And for the first time, I did not hide the CD as I went to check out. I didn't slide it under any other items. In fact, I bought only Taylor. Just Taylor. And I was already taking her out of the cellophane while traipsing through the parking lot, giddy like a six year old at Christmas. And as I stuck that CD in my car, I reminded myself how I don't even like pop music or country these days, and yet here we were, the excitement, butterflies, and anxiety that come with being on a date with someone new. Not knowing where it will lead, or whether you even want to follow, but doing it just the same.
Why I'm admitting this now, I don't know. I'm not an old Taylor fan. I started about the time Red was coming out and then bought the CD released prior to it. I thought she was just a country darling, a name I barely recognized, a few songs I only knew from movie trailers. But once I realized she was a passive-aggressive drama queen, suddenly, I was hooked. I had spent part of a day browsing YouTube lyric videos and I couldn't get enough. She had entertained me throughout the most mundane computer tasks that day and I ended up reading all about her and her song references on Wikipedia. Yes, I'm serious. She was a country version of Alanis and a singing version of my inner self. And she put it all out there, for better or for worse, lacing it throughout some beats and melodies. And I couldn't tell if I applauded her, envied her, or was embarrassed for her. But I was certainly intrigued.
I have other guilty pleasures. Pink. Avril Lavigne. Blink 182. I've kept these guilty pleasures hush hush for years. I only brought them up during times of self deprecating humor. It's like when I started to like the color pink, but was afraid to let go of being the girl who didn't. But I am now realizing that these guilty pleasures are just as much a part of me as my Frank Sinatra, Beatles, Harry Potter, Tom's shoes, Union Jack flags, and indy flicks. And I offer no apologies or excuses. I just happen to like these things, even when I don't always understand why. Even when I'm trying so hard to resist their seduction. Sometimes, you just have to succumb to the temptresses in life. Perhaps they're not all terrible.
By the way, while I still don't enjoy most pop music, Taylor's new album is fun. It's catchy like an STD, which I expected. It's girly. It gets me dancing, even when I don't want it to. I do find some of the beats annoying, and I don't mind confessing that. It's still not completely my thing, but I'm going to listen to it all the time anyway, belting out those tunes like some middle-aged housewife with a diva complex. And I'm surprisingly okay with that.
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