Day three and I didn't bake...

I murdered Oreos instead.  That's right.



And then I murdered some candy canes too.  Just for the heck of it.






And let me add, murder has never smelled so good.



My kitchen may be the scene of the crime, but man, a crime has never been so delicious.



And the best part?  I used my new blender for the first time.

And the reason this is such a big deal is that I usually do all the crushing by hand, well with a potato masher.  But it hurts.  A lot.  And takes me at least thirty minutes, because I'm a perfectionist.  And I want them crushed perfectly.

This thing?  It took seconds.  Seconds!  Seriously.  I wasn't sure whether to be ticked off or impressed.

And if you can tell, those aren't just any Oreos.  Those are a special sort of Oreo.  And from the first time I saw them in Target, I knew they needed to be made into truffles.  They were begging for it.

I used the whole package.

And after I saw how wonderfully smooth that process went, I decided to try it with candy canes too.  Sure, I enjoy beating anything to a bloody pulp, just like the next person.  But there's something enticing about blending, chopping, processing.  Something cleaner, with less evidence, somewhat even barbaric as you watch it.

Of course I took the wrappers off.  Five of them.  I only put in five.

And the blender did too good of a job.  They weren't candy canes anymore.  They were powdered.

After all that was sorted out and my enforcer Mr. Blender did his job, I decided to work my end of things and start on the actual truffles.

While a lot of people use cream cheese in their Oreo truffles, I do not.  I have.  But I much prefer chocolate pudding.  It's cheaper, it's not nearly as rich, and there's just something smooth and fabulous about it.  You can make them however you want.  I'm not a food blogger.  I'm not even attempting to be.  So go on with your cream cheese fantasies.  But I'm doing it My Way, just like Frank Sinatra would have suggested.

Half a cup of milk, one regular sized box of chocolate pudding.

Then things got really messy and glorious when I added in the Oreo remains.

And they got even more interesting when I rolled them into little balls, in no exact size whatsoever.  And then they went to hang out in the fridge for ten minutes or so.  They needed some me time.

Now, these are completely unnecessary, but for me, they're completely necessary.  I have to have miniature cupcake liners.  Not just for appearances.  Not just for sanitary purposes.  Just because.  And how cute are those anyway?  Sure, I could have gotten them cheaper at the Dollar Tree, but I was loving those from Joann's.  Wilton makes cute stuff!

Once they were ready to come socialize with the world again, I had my white almond bark waiting just for them.

The candy cane bits were waiting too.

And so were the mini cupcake liners.  Everything's better in a miniature version!  Well, almost everything.

The very first victim.  My trophy.

They're so pretty!  Especially after their candy cane dusting!

And five crushed candy canes were more than plenty.  So much so, that I am keeping those, along with any leftover Oreo crumbs from the blender (those are the black specks you see) and using them for a future project.  There were way too many to waste.

Now in the fridge they wait.  Just between you and me...I know a few won't be making it tomorrow.  I know Mister Man.  I know his love of anything consisting of white chocolate.

I'm glad those candy cane Oreos spoke to me at Target from the very first day I noticed them.  And I was certainly right.  They were meant to be truffles.  It was their destiny.  That's my justification for their murder and a brilliant defense.

No Shame

Although, I have no idea how well this latest project will go, I have succeeded with the second phase.  I made hot chocolate brownies.  And they're beautiful.  I forgot how much fun I have mixing substances with a butter knife.  

And just as pretty once baked.

Aren't those gorgeous?  This is the point where I could completely take credit for all that deliciousness swirling in a glass dish, but you know what? 

I can take credit because I did make them.  

Yeah, from a box.  

I'm not even going to lie.  I saw these in a store over a week ago and thought, "you know what?  I wanted to make those hot chocolate things I keep seeing the Pinterestese do!"  And I thought about leaving the box there, and then the wheels in my head were turning. "What's the worst thing that could happen?"  So I bought them and I made them today just to prove that something out of a box can count too.  And I'll even admit to it.  I have no shame.  I have no reason to lie about it.  Or pretend.  Because I can bake from scratch...and out of a box.  I can bake whatever I want.  And I won't pretend that I slaved over it if I didn't.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  I was trying a new product!  I was putting myself out there.  And for less than a $1.80, it certainly costs less than brownies from scratch do, especially hot chocolate brownies.  Seriously.  And like anyone in his office is going to care.  If they ask for the recipe, I'll be honest.  I tried a new box mix to see if it'd work out.  Absolute truth.  I can be an honest baker.  

I'm not going to be someone who tries to act like they put more work into something than they did.  Using a box mix isn't something to be ashamed of.  I've found that frosting out of a can is so much faster and a LOT cheaper (most of the time) than when I make my own from scratch.  Sometimes I want my own from scratch though.  Sometimes, I just like watching the butter and powdered sugar become friends.  Sometimes, I have exactly four minutes to frost something.  That's when the can comes out.  Sometimes, I just like baking for sport, so it doesn't matter how long it will take or how much effort it takes.  I will see the chess match through.  I want to see the results.  I want to carve my own statue of David.  Betty Crocker doesn't always get to have all the fun.  

But when she does, I get to add that little pink box top to The Redhead's box top chart that hangs out on my fridge.  And that's a bonus.

He came in like a wrecking ball....

By the way, you're welcome for that song being in your head.

Happy Bloody Holidays!

This is the aftermath of my latest holiday experiment.  I had this grand idea.  Noble, crazy, ridiculous idea; as often happens.  And that paper towel is proof of the results.  Proof that my latest project went slightly...awry; as my projects often do.



You see, I had this insane notion to bake for Mister Man's office every work day this month until Christmas.  Starting now.  I wanted to fatten them all up.  Right after their turkey feast and vacation.  Keep shoving the good stuff at them.  Give me an extra motivation for baking, blogging, for getting into the holiday spirit.  I never could have done this last year.  Ever.  I was in the middle of a long stretch of mandatory overtime hours for the company I worked for. And as much as I loved that company, as much as I love working, I really, really love to bake.  I love the smells in my kitchen.  I love the holidays.  I love fattening people up.  I love when it doesn't end up impacting my waistline.


I love making bloody messes.



Especially this kind.



Red velvet.


Oh yeah.  I'm not even kidding.

I kept them simple today.  Does red velvet need to be fancier?  Really?  Can it be?  The only thing better than simple red velvet cupcakes would be a red velvet armadillo cake.  But that's not for Christmas.  Well....I guess it could be.  And yes, my kitchen was a bloody mess afterwards.  Just as it should be.  JUST AS IT SHOULD BE!



A bloody, yummy, velvety mess.  A precious, delightful start to the holidays.  Cheers!